Monopoly Madness
by Neuropsych
Summary: Jack's not the only one who has trouble with boardgames. (COMPLETE)


_Monopoly Madness_

_Author's Note: Just another addition to the board game stories – which might end up becoming a regular series with me, who knows? Although two stories probably doesn't make it a series... but..._

_Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1, and I don't own Monopoly or anything associated with it. I just like to play it._

OOOOOOOOO

The little shoe moved five places, and O'Neill was grinning evilly long before it came to rest on his property.

"Well... _crap_."

"You owe me..." Jack didn't even have to look at his little card. "...2000 dollars, Daniel."

"I don't have 2000 dollars."

"Then you shouldn't have spent the night in my little hotel, huh?"

Daniel scowled. Jack was enjoying this game far too much.

"I didn't enjoy my stay... the sheets were dirty, and there was a ring around my bathtub. I should get a discount."

"Ah, but the hooker you hired for the night is the reason for the ring around the tub, and we won't even discuss the sheets. Pay up."

"Jack..."

Daniel flipped through his small stack of money.

"Need a loan, Daniel?" Sam asked, not hiding her amusement.

The archeologist scowled.

"I have five hundred dollars." He told O'Neill.

"You have properties you can foreclose."

"But I _need_ them. I'm already in debt and I-"

"That's not my fault. You landed on my property, and you have to pay the price... that's the rule."

Daniel frowned, and looked at his few properties.

"How about I give you Baltic and Mediterranean?"

"_And_ your five hundred bucks."

"What?"

"That's a bargain, Daniel," Jack told him reasonably. "They're not worth anywhere near 1500. Not even with the hotels."

"O'Neill is correct," Teal'c said from the other side of the table where he'd been watching the exchange. "You are, indeed, being let off 'easy'. _I_ would not be so merciful."

Daniel scowled at Teal'c, and passed Jack the properties and the five hundred bucks with a sigh.

"Stupid game."

"It was your idea to play it," Sam reminded him.

"I don't care... it's _still_ stupid."

Jack was busily sorting his money, adding Daniel's 500 to his already large stack of bills, and tucking it neatly under the edge of the game board, but he smiled.

"It's your turn, Carter."

Sam rolled the dice and her top hat moved 6 places. She ended up on Community chest and drew a card. Daniel watched breathlessly, hoping she'd be sent to one of his few remaining properties. He could use the income.

"Take a ride on the Reading Railroad..." Sam read, setting the card on the pile and smiling. "Look, I get to pass 'GO' and collect 200 dollars." She moved her top hat to the railroad space, and Teal'c handed her 200 dollars from the 'bank'.

"How did you enjoy the trip on my railroad, Carter?" Jack asked.

"The ride was a little bumpy," she told him. "I'm not sure I liked the way the conductor was looking at me... I should get a discount..."

"Fair enough," Jack conceded. "50 bucks."

"That sounds fair."

Sam handed the money over.

"Wait a minute..."

They both looked over at Daniel, who was scowling.

"How come _she_ gets a discount?"

"You heard her, Daniel... the conductor gave her a funny look and she didn't like it. What am I supposed to do? You don't think I should charge her full price for the ride, do you?"

"You would have charged _me_ full price."

"My conductor probably would have ignored you..."

Daniel's scowl deepened.

"That's not fair..."

"What isn't?"

"You're giving her special treatment..."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

Jack looked over at Teal'c.

"Teal'c? If your conductor gave Sam a weird look that she wasn't comfortable with, would you give her a discount?"

"I would have given her the ride for free," Teal'c said. "It is not polite to stare at a woman in a manner that she is uncomfortable with."

Jack looked over at Daniel.

"See?"

"That's not fair..."

"It's your turn, Teal'c," O'Neill said, ignoring Daniel's pout.

The dice landed, and Teal'c's racecar moved 8 places to land on the electric company.

"Ha!" Daniel perked right up, and he handed the dice back to Teal'c. "You have to roll to see what you owe me."

"I do not believe I owe you anything, Daniel Jackson," The Jaffa said, handing him the dice back.

"What? Why not?"

"Because someone crashed into one of the power poles and cut power to my house. Therefore I have not been able to make proper use of my utilities, and should not be required to pay my bill."

"What?"

"Sounds right to me, Daniel..." Sam said. "If there's no power coming to his house, why should he pay the bill?"

"Hey..."

"What kind of power company are you running, Daniel?" Jack asked. "I think someone should call the Better Business Bureau on you... You'll probably get a fine... maybe even jail time."

"But-"

Jack picked up the dice.

"Maybe if you took better care of your power poles... or made them sturdier, or something..." He rolled the dice before Daniel could do much more than sputter, and moved his little horseman five places.

"Oh, just visiting Jail..." Jack looked over at Daniel, who was still scowling. "Keep up those bad business practices and I'll come visit you."

Sam snickered, and Daniel graced her with a scowl, too. He hated playing this game by O'Neill's new set of rules – although the others loved it. The better the story you made up, the better chance you had of getting out of your bill. It wasn't Daniel's fault he wasn't all that creative...

"Your turn, Daniel," Sam told him.

Ah, well... at least he'd pass GO this time, and would have a little cash. Maybe enough to do something, if he could get the dice to fall into place for him. He rolled, and moved his little shoe – and landed on the community chest. This could be good... maybe he won the beauty contest or something...

"Take a walk on the boardwalk..."

Jack's grin was huge, and Daniel closed his eyes as Sam moved his shoe all the way back around the board, landing it back on the place he'd just vacated.

"Guess what, Daniel...?"

"What, Jack?"

"You owe me... 2000 bucks..."

"I hate this game..."

_The End!_


End file.
